I want to share an experience I had with a client. All information is general, and no identifying details are included.
I recently worked with an individual who wanted more control over her money, but her family was currently managing it. The client is her own guardian, so technically she should have been allowed to access her money. She decided to call a meeting with her team to talk about how she wanted that access.
During the meeting, one family member tossed a wad of cash at her and told her to count it. My client was unable to do so. But this wasn’t about ability alone—it was about context. She was nervous and stressed, which made focusing and processing difficult. She has deficits in scanning, which meant she couldn’t always identify the numbers on the bills. She has challenges with working memory, so it was hard for her to hold a sequence of numbers in her head and add them together. And with limited motor control, separating one bill from another was extremely difficult. When she said she couldn’t count the money, her father responded: “Well then I guess you can’t be in charge of your own money.”
The very next day, my client was “given” $20 by a family member. She bought a shirt she wanted. Instead of celebrating her independence, the family member got upset, saying she was spending her money on things she didn’t need. They then demanded the rest of the cash back.
Here’s the thing: I know plenty of neurotypical people who can’t count wads of cash. I know neurotypical people who don’t pay their rent on time. I know neurotypical people who make impulse purchases. Yet none of them lose access to their money. So why is it that people with disabilities are so often stripped of financial independence—simply because they have a disability?
Dignity of Risk. This is from a previous blog post:
If you have ever made a mistake, raise your hand. (Hint: every hand should be raised.) If you have learned from a mistake, raise your hand. (Again—all hands up.) If your mistakes have helped shape who you are, raise your hand. (Yes—all hands should be raised.)
Unfortunately, neurodiverse individuals are rarely given that same right. In my work in group homes, I often see staff, caregivers, and guardians put restrictions in place to prevent individuals from making mistakes. We do this with good intentions—we don’t want to see them hurt, sick, or sad. But when we take away their right to make mistakes, we also take away their right to be human.
As attorney Chris Lyons, who advocates for individuals with disabilities, explains: “The right to make a mistake is important because it is at the core of our human dignity. What makes us most human is our ability to enjoy our successes by also owning our failures. It is that contrast—that yin and yang of human nature—that allows us to truly be a person.”
Self-advocate Max Barrows builds on this when speaking to service providers: “Please don’t protect us too much—or at all—from living our lives. We are going to have to encounter failures through the decisions we make. That’s the number one way of learning where the lines are drawn, and it also helps us learn about ourselves. The dignity of risk is one of the many opportunities that people with disabilities deserve to have.”
Some questions to consider when you are using restrictions:
- Check your reasons
- Am I restricting access because I feel the need to be in control?
- Am I restricting access because it makes things easier for me?
- Am I restricting access because the individual has different values than me?
- Am I restricting access because I am dysregulated in this moment?
- Would I want someone to restrict my access to things in this moment?
- Am I respecting this person’s dignity?
References:
Dignity of Risk Toolkit from North Dakota Health and Human Services, April 2024 http://chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.hhs.nd.gov/sites/www/files/documents/Developmental%20Disabilities/Dignity%20Of%20Risk%20Introduction%20April%202024.pdf
Green Mountain Self Advocates: Dignity of Risk https://gmsavt.org/resources/video-dignity-of-risk
The MN Government Council on Developmental Disabilities, Self Determination: Dignity of Risk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ1aYsFTDS4