Are Staff Members Friends? Why This Question Matters for People with Disabilities When I work with people with disabilities, one of the patterns I see most often is the blurring of the line between paid staff and genuine friends. This isn’t anyone’s fault. The staff I work with genuinely like the individuals they support. But…
I’ve been studying thanatology (the study of death, dying, grief, and loss), and I’ve noticed that many of its essential ideas should also be applied to people with disabilities. Recently, I’ve been reading about maintaining dignity during end of life using the Dignity Conserving Model developed by Harvey Chochinov. There is a very real potential…
I want to share an experience I had with a client. All information is general, and no identifying details are included. I recently worked with an individual who wanted more control over her money, but her family was currently managing it. The client is her own guardian, so technically she should have been allowed to…
When we work with adults who have disabilities, it’s easy to focus only on what’s happening on the surface. We see the behaviors, but we often don’t consider the underlying thoughts, feelings, and past experiences that might be driving them. As Mona Delahooke wrote in her book, Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to…
One major shift that I believe needs to happen in the field of ABA is when and how we reward behaviors. Too often, individuals—especially adults with disabilities—are asked to prove that they “deserve” autonomy, independence, or choice. In practice, this means many ABA professionals and staff require people to earn basic human rights before granting…
Have you heard the term “secondary losses”? As I was researching grief in individuals with disabilities, this term came up a lot. A “primary loss”, is the actual loss that occurred (e.g. your brother dying, your favorite roommate moving out) and it can be painful. “Secondary losses” are the losses that come because of the…
When we talk about death, many of us use softened language like “passed away,” “moved on,” or “in a better place.” This is natural—we want to be gentle. I used these phrases myself until I began researching how individuals with autism and intellectual disabilities understand grief and loss. What I found was this: using euphemisms…
Losing someone is difficult, but it can be even harder for people with disabilities. This is because, the research shows that we do not often prepare people with intellectual disabilities to handle grief and loss. In fact, in worse case scenarios there is a tendency to assume that the grief/loss won’t impact them at all….
I recently came back from a trip to Thailand where I was providing information to staff at an orphanage/school on how to be trauma informed. I have done international volunteer work in the past and have learned what to do and what not to do. Volunteer trips where you are focused on just hanging out…