Start the Consent Conversation: A Free Game for Learners with IDD and Autism

Individuals with disabilities face double the risk of experiencing sexual violence in their lifetimes compared to their nondisabled peers, and adults are especially vulnerable (Mailhot Amborski et al., 2022). Among adults with intellectual disabilities, an estimated 1 in 3 experience sexual abuse, with even higher rates reported among males (Tomsa et al., 2021). And the risk does not shrink as support needs grow. Rates of abuse increase alongside the severity of intellectual disability, meaning the individuals with the highest support needs face the greatest risk (Tomsa et al., 2021).

Despite these numbers, people with disabilities are routinely left out of the education that teaches the very content and skills shown to increase safety (Pratt et al., 2025). To be clear, I am not saying the responsibility for preventing abuse belongs to the person with the disability. Abuse prevention is something that must be addressed by society as a whole, and that includes creating systems of safety around the people we serve. With that said, we still need to teach safety skills, especially to people with disabilities.

One aspect I have been thinking a lot about lately is consent. Consent is not tricky for people with disabilities. It is tricky for the professionals who work with them. We rarely teach it, because so many of our educational and therapeutic programs are focused on compliance instead. That is a topic that deserves its own post, and I will get into it soon. For now, the gist is this: people with disabilities need sex education, and a simple way to start (especially if this area feels uncomfortable for you) is by teaching consent.

Where we’re headed: FRIES

A common roadmap for consent education is FRIES, an acronym popularized by Planned Parenthood (n.d.). It explains that consent only counts as consent if it is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. I love how it gets into the nuances of what consent actually requires, and it will be the backbone of this series.

But here is what I have found in my work with clients with autism and developmental disabilities: you cannot just present a framework and call it taught. Before FRIES can mean anything, learners need foundational skills. They need to notice what their bodies are telling them. They need practice saying no and hearing no. They need to know that a yes can change. And they need to build all of this in low-stakes, nonsexual situations first, because sex, dating, and romance carry a lot of feelings, and skills are easier to learn before the stakes get high.

Where to start: the foundations

That is exactly what this week’s freebie targets. The Consent Tower is a Jenga style game (it works with any standard 54-block set) where each numbered block matches a prompt, and each prompt builds one of those foundational skills:

• Body signals: noticing what comfort and discomfort feel like from the inside
• Saying no: practicing many ways to say no and keep saying it
• Changing your mind: learning that a yes can turn into a no at any time
• Asking and noticing others: consent goes both ways, asking first and respecting the answer
• People and help: knowing who to trust and where to go

These are the skills FRIES is built on. A learner who can name what “uncomfortable” feels like in their own body is ready to understand enthusiastic. A learner who has practiced changing their mind about a movie is ready to understand reversible. Start with the foundations, and the framework has something to stand on.

Each week, I will be sharing materials to teach each component of FRIES. For now, grab the game, pull some blocks, and start the conversation.

References

FREE Consent Game: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Consent-Jenga-Building-Relationship-Autonomy-and-Consent-Skills-16946364

Mailhot Amborski, A., Bussières, E.-L., Vaillancourt-Morel, M.-P., & Joyal, C. C. (2022). Sexual violence against persons with disabilities: A meta-analysis. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(4), 1330–1343. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838021995975

Planned Parenthood Federation of America. (n.d.). Sexual consent. Retrieved July 19, 2026, from https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent

Pratt, P. E., Deardorff, M. E., & Barczak, M. A. (2025). Aligning sexuality education curriculum to national standards for individuals with intellectual and developmental disability: A systematic literature review. Review Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40489-025-00522-0

Tomsa, R., Gutu, S., Cojocaru, D., Gutiérrez-Bermejo, B., Flores, N., & Jenaro, C. (2021). Prevalence of sexual abuse in adults with intellectual disability: Systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(4), 1980. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18041980